'It will not always be Summer; Build Barns'

 {Title quote by Hesoid... Who also wrote 'Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle and decieve you... she is after your barn.' He needs to calm down REF: Barns}

We've been fanning the flames of DIY here at Derbyshire Towers recently, from Chicken Palaces to Glitter Jars. We've been thrifty, handy and cunning; producing some pretty nice bits of furniture and ornaments and fully taking advantage of the brilliant weather we've been having!

My top favourite has to be the beautiful rustic farmhouse table and benches my husband made at the weekend.

It's high up, sturdy, and has that homely rustic country feeling that sits so well on a warm Summer's evening. We had friend's over for an evening last week and the extra space for food and drink was well received. 

 Not to mention the extra room for well-fed stomachs to expand.

Initially I wanted to decorate the entire inside of the gazebo with these tissue paper garlands... but then I remembered that I'm a Mother who barely has the patience to put my pants on, let alone sit for hours twisting and tearing paper, life's too short.

These looked so pretty fluttering in the breeze though.

I made my handy-hubby {ew to the word 'hubby' but for alliteration's sake I'm sticking with it} a really special dinner to sit on his table, home-made pasta using eggs laid that morning from our three girls. You can't get fresher than that... except for the fresh watercress and parsley I used to make the simple sauce.

Gone are the days of Ikea and Argos, we've taken it upon ourselves to build new furniture and refurbish the old stuff worth saving, flat pack is out, individual custom-made pieces are in!

Snow, Cake & Pugs!

 I had a very lovely, chilled out 1st Mother's Day, last year doesn't really count because Nahla had only been in my tummy about 3-4 weeks!

I woke up to a big smiley face... who was bringing me breakfast in bed (Nahla was still asleep) and a lovely card, from Nahla, who's handwriting is suspiciously like her Father's.

Simon had to work for a couple of hours so the morning was spent in bed, watching Caitlin Moran and Peppa Pig, weird combo or what?!

 We decided that, although it was snowing like mad outside, that we might as well make the most of the day and pop out for a hot drink. We popped into a really lovely Cashmere/Wool/Bits and Bobs shop close to us where they sell loads of really lovely kitcheny bits, from Cath Kidston to Emma Bridgewater.

Nahla was so nosey and kept trying to turn her head all the way around to get a 360 view!

Passers by kept giving her lots of compliments, which was lovely.

This was my OOTD...

Elbow-Patch Knitted Sweater- Primark £16
Leggings-Wallis £10

Scarf- A Gift

Hunter Wellies- £89

Nappy Bag- Cath Kidston- £60

I loved these little mugs and will definitely be getting one next payday! They are SO ADORABLE! I love Pugs and will probably get one when we have our own house and Nahla is quite a bit older.

I just love the little one wearing a top hat and monocle! :')

 Next door to the shop is a really lovely little posh cafe. As soon as we walked in I felt a little nervous, it was full of middle aged and elderly couples, we were the youngest there and this was the first time we had taken Nahla out to eat on our own, I was expecting her to have a complete meltdown and spit fire at the other customers, but she was an absolute delight.

She had her bottle there, looked around and grinned at everyone, she was very interested in my pink cake!

(which, btw, was more icing than actual cake... but that's not a ratio I'm going to complain about!)

 

I had a cup of hot chocolate and the most delicious cupcake, Simon had a very dark coffee and a rock cake... he bit the side of his mouth, which was a bit unfortunate!

 Walking back through the shop I spotted some really lovely things, from gorgeous quilts, to beautiful Orla Kiley pieces and this amazing fish-bowl display with driftwood around it... I also almost screeched when I saw they sold Neom candles, I've blogged about how much I've wanted one for ages and my husband was lovely enough to buy one for me...

 ...it's such a gorgeous smelling candle; Moroccan Blush Rose.

I'm in love with it and will be burning it whilst I'm in the bath Simon's running for me tonight after he's cooked me a lovely meal.

I've really enjoyed my first Mother's Day, although I can't wait until Nahla's old enough to treat me herself!

Love,

Laura xxx

(Lots of love to my Mummy too!)

Mother's Day

This is Nahla.

(Otherwise known as: Pops, Nahla-Banana, Nahla-Bee, Nahla-Bug, 'Dingus', Wet-Pants & Pinga)

 Nahla has just entered her fourth month of being a little Human and I've just realised that I've hardly blogged about her at all!

Where to begin??

Nahla's birth was pretty pants, but she is AWESOME. I've never been a very gushy/sappy/sentimental person but this girl just brings out all of those emotions in me!

I'm fascinated by how much she changes every week, it seemed like only yesterday that we were so careful and ginger whilst holding her and now she's trying to jump up and down on my tummy and is almost sitting up by herself.

She has the most beautiful big eyes, soft mousey hair and this gorgeous unique smell that I inhale like I'm desperate for oxygen!

I put so many pictures of her all over the place, and talk about her constantly, it must drive people insane but I don't care! This girl is my absolute world. At first I was worried that I would be too selfish to take care of a baby, too independent and headstrong; but as soon as I saw her I was overwhelmed with the desire to protect and nurture her.

Nahla's laugh is the most hysterical thing I've ever heard and her smile is infectious, she loves smiling at people and is ridiculously chatty for her age, I'm told.

She does something new everyday so it's never a dull moment!

This man has done so much for me over the past few months; everything from holding me up in the shower after my cesarean, injecting me in the stomach to stop blood clots, feeding Nahla at 2am whilst having me wail into his shoulder at the same time. I owe him so much, yet continue to bark and shout at him whilst simultaneously purring and cooing at him ... thus is marriage after the birth of your first child!
 
Nahla and Pops are two peas in a pod when it comes to wanting to sleep in in the mornings, both of them are so lazy! I'll often be up and about long before they even start rubbing their eyes sleepily.

She smiles and laughs at Simon more than me, just the sight of him reduces her to fits of giggles and huge beaming grins... it must be something to do with his face, I tend to laugh at it from time to time too!

I find it so strange to see my husband holding a baby, it used to be pints of beer that he cradled but now he seems full of this new found wisdom. He picks up on her cries and knows what they mean, he can make her smile whilst she's in the middle of a tiredness-induced tantrum and makes her laugh by a mere flick of an eyebrow.

He tells her he loves her, and has affectionately nicknamed her 'Dingus' a name that I find quite endearing and that I know will be used to embarrass her on her wedding day!

To me, there is nothing more attractive than a man who dotes on his daughter, who reads her bedtime stories and bites her toes, puts her to bed and kisses her cheeks.

 I have changed so much since having her!

Naievely, I thought I would sail through this motherhood-business but it has been no easy ride. A traumatic birth, a difficult healing process and the onset of PND has seen me feel the most helpless and sad that I have ever felt in my life.

Simultaneously, my heart feels like it's going to burst with happiness!

Nahla is my daughter, my teeny little munchkin who nuzzles into me, who blows bubbles on my cheek, dribbles on all my clothes, pulls my hair and stamps her feet, and shares baths with me, being around her can snap from stressful to utter bliss in a few seconds.

Being a Mama is EXCITING.

I look at her and often think of what sort of woman she will turn into, I hope to nurture her into a strong, kind, driven Girl who has aspirations, intelligence and can hold her own.

As a Feminist, I want her to recognise and defend her rights as a woman and a person, I never want her to feel that there's something she can't do simply because of her sex.

As her Mama, I want her to succeed in life, for her to have a good job, a family of her own, an exciting hobby... these things are fine, but just knowing that she's happy would be satisfying enough.

I am loving her at this cuddly, teeny-weeny, adorably chubby stage, but also can't wait for the next milestones; talking, crawling, eating real food, walking etc, it all seems so exciting but happens so quickly!

In conclusion: Motherhood is a job and a half, but completely rewarding, especially when little girls like Nahla are involved!

Love,

Laura xxx

Marital Make-Up!

The pictures speak for themselves really!

Last week my husband and I attempted to film a quick video of ourselves having a little make-up sesh. It was actually SO much fun and I laughed so much I cried and snotted everywhere, I managed to escape with both of my eyes still intact, not prodded out with eyeliner.

Unfortunately, little Nahla cried throughout the whole 15 minute video so I thought it would be better to do it again another day, when she was fast asleep in her cot.

That's not to say it wasn't fun though, he did a good job with my foundation, but I did end up looking like a clown.

(The above photos are a few of my favourite stills from the footage!)

So watch this space, 'My Husband Does My Make-Up' video will be coming soon!

Love,

Laura xxx

My Birth Story... (bloody long post!)

{Disclaimer! Please do not read this if you are about to have a baby or are being induced, it will scare you.}

I've been debating for weeks whether or not I wanted to write my birth story. My labour was not how I thought it was going to be, there were complications from the start and things went from bad to worse rather quickly. 

I've decided to write it though because I've been asked to write a feedback form and send it to the NHS because a lot of things weren't done correctly, so hopefully this will put my thoughts and memories of those 29 hours into some sort of order.

I was induced on the 28th of November in a small hospital in the town we live in. I should have spotted the first warning sign that I was being induced after only 7 days, usually ladies are left 10-14 days before they are induced. When I went for my sweep 4 days before I was induced I was told that I wasn't dilated and that my daughter wasn't fully engaged. They also mentioned that she was facing outwards, which should have been a sign that labouring would be long and difficult, babies have to be head down and facing into the spine.

I was in such a rush to get her out though, I agreed to the early induction.

10 minutes before I was given the gel to 'ripen' my cervix (and thus get my labour started) I started having a lot of tightening pains in my back. I was hooked up to a machine that monitored my daughter and I and, although I was having pains, it wasn't picking up any signs of proper contractions; so I was given a pessary full of gel to get me going.

I wish I had refused the induction right there and then, I know now that the pains I was feeling were mild contractions.

Within an hour I was hooked up to a TENS machine, it did nothing to relieve the building pain, half an hour later I was given paracetamol and advised to have a warm bath. This did nothing. The pain was coming frequently and was starting to become unbearable, so two hours after that I was given a shot of morphine (which was the most painful injection I have ever received!) and I laid down on the bed, squeezing my Mum's hand whenever there was a tightening.

 I can remember fading in and out of sleep and vaguely hearing Mum talking to Simon, they stayed with me until 12:00am and I slept (on and off) until 5:00am.

The midwife came to see me in the morning and said Simon and my Mum were allowed to come back in when they wanted and that they were going to break my waters at 7:00am.

I pushed about a spoon's worth of rice krispies down my neck before Simon and my Mum arrived at about 6:00am. Both looked as though they hadn't gotten any sleep. My Mum, especially, looked concerned.

A midwife arrived later, armed with what can only be described as a long crochet hook and latex gloves.

She gave me an internal, I'd had internals during the last couple of week of pregnancy, they had never hurt... they were mainly just uncomfortable and awkward.

This was immensely different.

Simon was sat next to me as she dug her fingers (and nails) deeper into me. I have a high pain threshold, but this made me scream. I screamed at the top of my lungs, involuntarily. The pain was absolutely blinding, I forget how long she was down there, all I could feel was pulling and stabbing pains, Simon said she was at me for 5 minutes.

All I can remember is screaming, and Simon practically shoving his face in mine and stroking my cheek. I begged her to stop, even Simon told her to stop.

In the end she pressed a buzzer and another midwife ran in, looking concerned. Probably because I was howling like a banshee. After a hurried discussion the second midwife ran out of the room.

All of a sudden a gush of warm water ran out of me and the first midwife sat back.

She apologised and mentioned how she was struggling to get at my sac of waters to burst them, so had to physically pull my cervix up and forward to get at them. 

I just remember sobbing, my Mum stroking my hair and the other midwife running in with a bottle of gas and air... a bit late, she wheeled it out again.

The midwife mentioned that the baby had opened her bowels inside me, but it was nothing to be concerned about. Having read up on labour (to prepare) I read that 'Meconium' was a sign of distress in babies, so I was instantly on edge.

Now that my waters had gone I was able to go the labour ward. I shuffled into a large room, my waters dripping everywhere around me, and sat down on the bed where I was given a hormone drip to get my contractions going faster.

Things got out of hand, very quickly.

I was on gas and air immediately, it didn't stop the pain at all, but it gave me something to concentrate on other than the horrific pain I was in. 

My Mum was constantly in touch with my Godmother, who's an obstetrician and she was immediately concerned about what was going on.

After hours and hours of being on the drip, my contractions were coming so quickly that I wasn't getting a moment to recuperate.

My midwife decided to give me another internal to see how many centimeters I was and whether or not it was time to push. After another agonising internal, I was told that I was only 4cm dilated... nowhere near the 10cm that I needed to be and that it could take hours to reach it.

The small hospital I was in offered no other pain relief other than tablets and morphine, no epidural. After discussing it with the midwife she went to find the consultant Dr to ask if I could be transferred to a bigger hospital, with better pain medication.

The consultant came to see me, he was the most arrogant man I have ever met. He looked at me as if I was a silly girl, screaming at a tiny bit of pain, completely exaggerating.

He told me to have another shot of morphine, we tried to explain that I'd already had two shots and it had done nothing. He shrugged and said that there was two ways to get a baby out, vaginally or by cesarean.

Mum asked him if cesarean was a possibility because of how little progress I was making and how much pain I was in, he refused and said they might not even give me an epidural at the other hospital.

Basically, put up and shut up.

After another hour I had reached a new level of pain. I couldn't speak, move or do anything other than constantly suck on the gas and air pipe and cry.

It was then that Simon demanded I be sent to the other hospital. Two hours later two paramedics turned up with a stretcher, Simon drove off to the hospital an hour away, whilst my Mum rode with me in the ambulance.

I don't remember much of the journey, my Mum said I was having pains every minute and kept crying out for her, she also said that the paramedic in the back kept turning up the strength of the gas and air.

When we arrived I was hysterical, they wheeled me into a lift, along some corridors and then into a room full of nurses and a Dr and Simon.

Then they dropped me.

The stretcher I was laying on got stuck, so the paramedic shook it and I fell about 3 foot onto the floor. Simon was shouting at someone, another nurse ran in, I was lifted onto a bed, blood was taken from me and another drip was put in.

Then more drama began, they wanted to examine me internally again, one midwife was already gloved up whilst another practically held me down. The pain was unbearable, I remember begging Simon to get them to stop, he just held my face and cried for me.

I was still only 4cm.

They put a monitor onto the top of my baby's head, they suspected that she was in distress, she was being squeezed within an inch of her life, and after looking at the monitor the consultant and the midwives agreed that the cord was probably wrapped around my daughters neck.

The anesthesiologist came in, injected my back then fitted the epidural, a long thin tube. It ached as it went in, but wasn't too bad.

The epidural didn't work, it numbed one side of my body, I could still feel the contractions in my left hip and leg.  

Finally, after an hour of negotiating, pleading and reasoning with the medical staff, it was decided that I would need an emergency cesarean. I was nowhere near pushing, I was exhausted, my baby was in distress and my epidural and my induction had failed.

I was wheeled into a bright operating room that was full of people. I lost count of how many people were in there. Simon was lead into another room to get dressed into a sterile gown.

I sat on a long stretcher as they pulled out my epidural and replaced it with a spinal anesthesia, my whole lower half went completely numb. FINALLY there was no more pain, it was bliss.

Simon walked in just as they were replacing the IV line in my hand, it had become full of dried blood and wouldn't allow any medication to be injected into it.

Simon sat next to me, I was shivering uncontrollably as a result of the anesthesia, but I finally felt calm but was anxious to meet my baby.

My heart rate dropped on the operating table as they were cutting me open, but the anesthesiologist gave me an injection of god knows what into my IV line which managed to boost it up again.

It was quiet, the only people moving were the three people standing over my stomach, behind the sheet in front of me. After only a couple of minutes there was a sudden flurry of movement by all of the people in the room and the surgeon cooed 'Here she is! She's a slippery thing!'

Nahla Claire was born at 10:00pm, weighing 7lb2.

I looked over at Simon as she started wailing, he kissed me and said 'That's your baby!'

They gave her to Simon after cleaning her up and checking her over, she was so small and was wrapped in a massive towel so I could only see her hand.

Simon held her whilst they stitched me up, then I was wheeled out and into the recovery ward.

The next couple of hours were full of cuddles, smiling, laughing, crying and feeding Nahla.

I'm so grateful that we're both ok. I really do feel that if we had waited a couple more hours then one of us, or even both of us, would not have made it.

Labour is a wonderful, but dangerous thing. Mine was made worse by the fact that I was induced too early, my baby was facing the wrong way, my waters were broken too early, I wasn't given adequate pain relief and my labour failed to progress.

It has put me off having any more children in the near future, although I know I don't have to go through that again and I can just have a cesarean, the healing process both physically and mentally is a bit too much to bear thinking about going through again.

Nahla is totally worth it though, she's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me and I'm so proud to be the Mama of such a beautiful girl!

Hubby Christmas!

Men are SO hard to buy for. 

My husband has everything he needs, and anything that he wants usually borders around the ridiculously priced DIY items... which are boring to buy and out of my Christmas budget!

I prefer to buy him lots of little things rather than one big present. Buying for him this year has taken me four days! This isn't due to indecisiveness, it's mainly because whenever I've sat down to buy things Nahla has distracted me!

I thought, whilst she's asleep, that I would write a quick post about what I bought my husband this year. There are so many fun and quirky gifts out there, I was spoilt for choice!

I bought a few different types of these funny post-it notes, there's the Nag Note, the WTF note, the Passive-Agressive note and loads more. Simon's constantly forgetting things that I ask him to do, so I thought these would be a fun way to remind him.

I think this mug says it all... I bought this for him to take to work, I'm sure it'll give his workmates a laugh!

Simon swears like a sailor, it drives me mad. Especially when he randomly swears in a sentence...

'There was this really cute squirrel that I saw on the way to fucking work today.'

I bought this so his swearing makes him sound more like he's a well-travelled gentleman rather than a prat.

My lovely husband is now a father, which means his dancing is no longer cool.

Now that he's a Dad (and is in the process of growing a moustache, which makes me despair) he needs this book. Its full of hilarious pictures of Dads rocking the Hipster look.

Every year I ask him what he wants and he always replies 'Don't worry love, I don't need anything.' So if he inwardly complains about my gift-giving he can ram it.

Merry Christmas to the blokes!