{Disclaimer! Please do not read this if you are about to have a baby or are being induced, it will scare you.}
I've been debating for weeks whether or not I wanted to write my birth story. My labour was not how I thought it was going to be, there were complications from the start and things went from bad to worse rather quickly.
I've decided to write it though because I've been asked to write a feedback form and send it to the NHS because a lot of things weren't done correctly, so hopefully this will put my thoughts and memories of those 29 hours into some sort of order.
I was induced on the 28th of November in a small hospital in the town we live in. I should have spotted the first warning sign that I was being induced after only 7 days, usually ladies are left 10-14 days before they are induced. When I went for my sweep 4 days before I was induced I was told that I wasn't dilated and that my daughter wasn't fully engaged. They also mentioned that she was facing outwards, which should have been a sign that labouring would be long and difficult, babies have to be head down and facing into the spine.
I was in such a rush to get her out though, I agreed to the early induction.
10 minutes before I was given the gel to 'ripen' my cervix (and thus get my labour started) I started having a lot of tightening pains in my back. I was hooked up to a machine that monitored my daughter and I and, although I was having pains, it wasn't picking up any signs of proper contractions; so I was given a pessary full of gel to get me going.
I wish I had refused the induction right there and then, I know now that the pains I was feeling were mild contractions.
Within an hour I was hooked up to a TENS machine, it did nothing to relieve the building pain, half an hour later I was given paracetamol and advised to have a warm bath. This did nothing. The pain was coming frequently and was starting to become unbearable, so two hours after that I was given a shot of morphine (which was the most painful injection I have ever received!) and I laid down on the bed, squeezing my Mum's hand whenever there was a tightening.
I can remember fading in and out of sleep and vaguely hearing Mum talking to Simon, they stayed with me until 12:00am and I slept (on and off) until 5:00am.
The midwife came to see me in the morning and said Simon and my Mum were allowed to come back in when they wanted and that they were going to break my waters at 7:00am.
I pushed about a spoon's worth of rice krispies down my neck before Simon and my Mum arrived at about 6:00am. Both looked as though they hadn't gotten any sleep. My Mum, especially, looked concerned.
A midwife arrived later, armed with what can only be described as a long crochet hook and latex gloves.
She gave me an internal, I'd had internals during the last couple of week of pregnancy, they had never hurt... they were mainly just uncomfortable and awkward.
This was immensely different.
Simon was sat next to me as she dug her fingers (and nails) deeper into me. I have a high pain threshold, but this made me scream. I screamed at the top of my lungs, involuntarily. The pain was absolutely blinding, I forget how long she was down there, all I could feel was pulling and stabbing pains, Simon said she was at me for 5 minutes.
All I can remember is screaming, and Simon practically shoving his face in mine and stroking my cheek. I begged her to stop, even Simon told her to stop.
In the end she pressed a buzzer and another midwife ran in, looking concerned. Probably because I was howling like a banshee. After a hurried discussion the second midwife ran out of the room.
All of a sudden a gush of warm water ran out of me and the first midwife sat back.
She apologised and mentioned how she was struggling to get at my sac of waters to burst them, so had to physically pull my cervix up and forward to get at them.
I just remember sobbing, my Mum stroking my hair and the other midwife running in with a bottle of gas and air... a bit late, she wheeled it out again.
The midwife mentioned that the baby had opened her bowels inside me, but it was nothing to be concerned about. Having read up on labour (to prepare) I read that 'Meconium' was a sign of distress in babies, so I was instantly on edge.
Now that my waters had gone I was able to go the labour ward. I shuffled into a large room, my waters dripping everywhere around me, and sat down on the bed where I was given a hormone drip to get my contractions going faster.
Things got out of hand, very quickly.
I was on gas and air immediately, it didn't stop the pain at all, but it gave me something to concentrate on other than the horrific pain I was in.
My Mum was constantly in touch with my Godmother, who's an obstetrician and she was immediately concerned about what was going on.
After hours and hours of being on the drip, my contractions were coming so quickly that I wasn't getting a moment to recuperate.
My midwife decided to give me another internal to see how many centimeters I was and whether or not it was time to push. After another agonising internal, I was told that I was only 4cm dilated... nowhere near the 10cm that I needed to be and that it could take hours to reach it.
The small hospital I was in offered no other pain relief other than tablets and morphine, no epidural. After discussing it with the midwife she went to find the consultant Dr to ask if I could be transferred to a bigger hospital, with better pain medication.
The consultant came to see me, he was the most arrogant man I have ever met. He looked at me as if I was a silly girl, screaming at a tiny bit of pain, completely exaggerating.
He told me to have another shot of morphine, we tried to explain that I'd already had two shots and it had done nothing. He shrugged and said that there was two ways to get a baby out, vaginally or by cesarean.
Mum asked him if cesarean was a possibility because of how little progress I was making and how much pain I was in, he refused and said they might not even give me an epidural at the other hospital.
Basically, put up and shut up.
After another hour I had reached a new level of pain. I couldn't speak, move or do anything other than constantly suck on the gas and air pipe and cry.
It was then that Simon demanded I be sent to the other hospital. Two hours later two paramedics turned up with a stretcher, Simon drove off to the hospital an hour away, whilst my Mum rode with me in the ambulance.
I don't remember much of the journey, my Mum said I was having pains every minute and kept crying out for her, she also said that the paramedic in the back kept turning up the strength of the gas and air.
When we arrived I was hysterical, they wheeled me into a lift, along some corridors and then into a room full of nurses and a Dr and Simon.
Then they dropped me.
The stretcher I was laying on got stuck, so the paramedic shook it and I fell about 3 foot onto the floor. Simon was shouting at someone, another nurse ran in, I was lifted onto a bed, blood was taken from me and another drip was put in.
Then more drama began, they wanted to examine me internally again, one midwife was already gloved up whilst another practically held me down. The pain was unbearable, I remember begging Simon to get them to stop, he just held my face and cried for me.
I was still only 4cm.
They put a monitor onto the top of my baby's head, they suspected that she was in distress, she was being squeezed within an inch of her life, and after looking at the monitor the consultant and the midwives agreed that the cord was probably wrapped around my daughters neck.
The anesthesiologist came in, injected my back then fitted the epidural, a long thin tube. It ached as it went in, but wasn't too bad.
The epidural didn't work, it numbed one side of my body, I could still feel the contractions in my left hip and leg.
Finally, after an hour of negotiating, pleading and reasoning with the medical staff, it was decided that I would need an emergency cesarean. I was nowhere near pushing, I was exhausted, my baby was in distress and my epidural and my induction had failed.
I was wheeled into a bright operating room that was full of people. I lost count of how many people were in there. Simon was lead into another room to get dressed into a sterile gown.
I sat on a long stretcher as they pulled out my epidural and replaced it with a spinal anesthesia, my whole lower half went completely numb. FINALLY there was no more pain, it was bliss.
Simon walked in just as they were replacing the IV line in my hand, it had become full of dried blood and wouldn't allow any medication to be injected into it.
Simon sat next to me, I was shivering uncontrollably as a result of the anesthesia, but I finally felt calm but was anxious to meet my baby.
My heart rate dropped on the operating table as they were cutting me open, but the anesthesiologist gave me an injection of god knows what into my IV line which managed to boost it up again.
It was quiet, the only people moving were the three people standing over my stomach, behind the sheet in front of me. After only a couple of minutes there was a sudden flurry of movement by all of the people in the room and the surgeon cooed 'Here she is! She's a slippery thing!'
Nahla Claire was born at 10:00pm, weighing 7lb2.
I looked over at Simon as she started wailing, he kissed me and said 'That's your baby!'
They gave her to Simon after cleaning her up and checking her over, she was so small and was wrapped in a massive towel so I could only see her hand.
Simon held her whilst they stitched me up, then I was wheeled out and into the recovery ward.
The next couple of hours were full of cuddles, smiling, laughing, crying and feeding Nahla.
I'm so grateful that we're both ok. I really do feel that if we had waited a couple more hours then one of us, or even both of us, would not have made it.
Labour is a wonderful, but dangerous thing. Mine was made worse by the fact that I was induced too early, my baby was facing the wrong way, my waters were broken too early, I wasn't given adequate pain relief and my labour failed to progress.
It has put me off having any more children in the near future, although I know I don't have to go through that again and I can just have a cesarean, the healing process both physically and mentally is a bit too much to bear thinking about going through again.
Nahla is totally worth it though, she's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me and I'm so proud to be the Mama of such a beautiful girl!
